9/11 Remembrance

I was in a training in downtown Pittsburgh on Wood Street. The facilitator stated matter-of-factly that the United States was under attack, but that we would likely be safe.  We took a break and I went outside to use my cell phone. It was useless.  That's when a sort of panic began to permeate the air. On my way to Kaufmann's garage, people spoke of preparing for the "Second Wave" of attacks. Gridlock in the garage forced the attendants to open the entrances, making them exits. It took 3 hours to get out of the downtown area and nearly another hour to make it home safely. It was in the days following 9/11 that the shock set in.  My father had died just a few months earlier and I felt relieved that he did not have to witness that event, but I think I was still recovering from his death, so my sense of mortality was particularly heightened. That's when I decided to use a camera on my daily therapeutic walks in the neighborhood to document my experience.  I noticed that my mood had a definite impact on my choice of shots. I followed my internal eye, and understood better why I chose to open the shutter when I did and how my eye composed frames before my conscious awareness. I learned to trust my eye more than my intellect, what the 12-step programs would call, "a power greater than the self.